I never realized until I had my own children how difficult being a mother is. Now I wish I would have helped you more with the chores around our home. I wish I would have known the exhaustion that a mother feels at the end of each day. You never stopped loving me and you never ever left me even though at times you probably felt like it.

She has grace, intelligence, integrity, and spirituality. It was she who taught me to think of others less fortunate than myself. Kindness was not just a word with her; it is a way of life to those she chooses to share it with. Her life was not gauged by what she had, but rather, it was gauged by what she gave from the heart.

I can’t begin to name all the things she has given me, but the greatest gift has been her time, love and patience. My mother has always demonstrated that time is the most precious thing a person can give to another. In fact, her time with me has been the biggest influence on all my good deeds and it her time was priceless.

I remember when I was five years old; she stood beside me on the sidewalk in front of my Grandma’s house waiting for my dad to pick up my brothers and I for our weekend visit with him. It was a long wait until she felt self-assured enough to say “come in the house, I don’t think he’s coming. But I’m here”. She would take us to concerts, the beach, the movies, play dates to the park, and trips to the second hand stores which I cherished, (thanks to her I’m a true fashionista on a budget). She would read books to us, help us with our homework, and make us do our chores – I appreciate that more now than I did then). She spent as much time with us as we needed and never complained. She gave my brothers and I enough love for two parents even though we had “1”. We are who we are because of her. My scrapes, bruises and broken heart always felt better after she kissed them and said, “It’s going to be okay”, while providing a shoulder for my tears. She can feel when something pains us even when we are silent; she would heal it with prayer and encouragement as if it were an effortless exercise.

She would chastise me when I needed it, and sometimes praised me when I didn’t deserve it. My mother helped me achieve things I never thought I could. In my mother’s love, I found that everything would be all right if I believed. Because of her I see what I can be. Because of her, I see the sun brighter than ever. No one can replace the time she shared with me. My mother is truly an amazing lady and grandparent.

Like other mother-daughter relationships, we are bound on sacred ground – God’s earth until he welcomes one of us back home!  Now, a better person, woman, mother, sister, and friend I can clearly see her influence and irreplaceable value. And, no one else can do what she has done for me – she’ll always be positive force in my life and queen of my heart.

By: Julie Washington

Professional Make Up Artist & Licensed Holistic Esthetician

First, we choose to become moms – either by birthing these miracles, adopting, caring for extending family members or blending families.  We instinctively step into the mommy role and fall in love with the innocence, unabashed learning, and unconditional love of our children.

Then we choose the type of mom we will be:

• Will we be loving and adoring yet bearable?
• Will we be protective yet foster independence?
• Will we be engaged at each stage?  When our child is involved in a sport, science project, or some other interest or hobby for which we have no clue or understanding, will we engage and show interest or back away?  Or worse, berate our child on why they want to do it?
• Will we become resistant to change and our children’s perspective? Or be flexible and adaptive, willing to listen and be open?

The type of mom we become can be influenced by many factors such as our values, beliefs, personality, and personal upbringing.  However, there is one choice that has become universal and is not an easy one to make: the choice between staying at home and being a working mom.

Now, it could be debatable that being a working mom is not a choice. In reality, the choice to stay at home or work should be made by the couple long before the baby comes along. Many moms, including myself, would say that working and contributing to the household financially is the only option to keep the family afloat.  And that may be true.  So, nonetheless, along with choosing the type of mom we will be, we have absolute control over employing a healthy sense of work-life balance.

So, what does it mean to balance? The reality check is that the concept of work- life balance is a misnomer.   For many people, with technology and companies’ focusing on global business, it is very difficult to “disconnect” from work at 5pm.  Work and life NEVER seem to be in balance and we as moms begin to feel like balancing equals juggling and completing tasks that are not very fulfilling.  The two are more of an integration versus balance.  Ideally, when you are centered personally and professionally, you feel a healthy sense of mental and emotional fulfillment.

So, how can you find your work life center? What choices should you make? Here are a few things to do:

Choose to balance your work within your life vs. life within your work.  We should be cautious that we are not defined by or consumed with our work.  Consider how to efficiently incorporate your work commitments into your life. Think about how you want your children to feel when they think of you.  Children need and appreciate time with their parents.

Set boundaries and stick to them.  If dinnertime or homework time is for the family, no checking the Blackberry, iPhone, or work emails during that time.  Some moms choose to plug back into work once the children are in bed; some affirm that their time after work is for them and that work commitments can wait until the next day.

Get rid of the guilt.  A senior female manager within my company made this comment to a group of us a few weeks ago and it resonated with me.  Between work priorities, leaving the kids in day care, not being available when they get home from school, housework, and managing the family’s social and activity calendar, a sense of guilt from feeling that all things are not getting proper attention can take over and manifest itself in a negative way.  Stop.  The choice to work is already made so breathe and do your best.

Talk to your boss about flexibility. Companies are designed to get the most work out of you and the traditional school of thought was that “if I can’t see you, you might not be working”.  However, many employers today are implementing work-life balance options such as flex schedules, work from home, compressed work weeks, and job sharing.  According to Working Mother Magazine, a recent employer survey conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management shows that 53% of U.S. companies offer flextime. Companies realize employees are actually more committed if they have more autonomy over their schedules and where they get their work done.  And employees who are engaged and committed to their company are generally more productive which can translate into better business results.  It is sort of like “you wash my back and I’ll wash yours”.

Write down your ideal work life vision.   If you define the vision, you can work towards it.  If you desire a job that allows you to take your children to school in the mornings, participate in their afterschool activities, or have dinner as a family 3 nights a week, seek out those jobs and company cultures that align with and support your work life goals.

Focus on the joys. Life is short.  Although the evening rush hour at home is just that with dinner, homework, activities, and baths, the precious moments with our children should be savored and are so worth it all. Their laughs are infectious.  Baby toes are tiny and sweet.  A hug is heartwarming.  Listening to our children talk at any age and confide in us is a blessing just like the title “mom” which is still the best job in the world.

Elicia Wood, SPHR, GPHR

Human Resource and Career Consultant

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For those of us still harboring former flames and old emotional cobwebs, it’s time to spruce up your internal closet with Spring cleaning that’s sure to bring about some fresh air.  Firstly, it’s important to determine the winter baggage that need to be checked at the door and left springing the cold. Any old wounds and disappointments must be met with self-reflection and decisive actions to ensure your cleansed and renewed approach to Spring. Why? Because it will promote you entering this love season with an open heart and mind.

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